Thursday, January 30, 2014

That Special Movie (Journal 6)


Cantaloupe-colored skin blisters watermelon beneath an onslaught of boiling water; Mozart plays in the background.  Silvery moonlight plays along diamond facets in a pool of wine-red blood; the train inexorably grinds across rail and bone.  The dumbwaiter snicks quietly; a man in a tuxedo stretches fingers, choking the neck of a chilled champagne bottle that explodes, sending glass shards and shrapnel slicing skin like so many tomatoes.  A man who showed no mercy pleads for the very thing he denied others, even as asphalt catches between his teeth and pavement burns across his skin.  Carnage and revenge meet with a smile of self-satisfaction; justice has been served.  For me, The Punisher is that special movie.  It is the outlet for all my frustrations and anxiety.  It is the vehicle through which I channel my pent-up aggression.  It is violent and bloody and full of explosions in a way my life is not allowed to be.  At the close of a bad day, somehow the smashing brings me solace.  I will not stomp feet, slam doors, scream or yell; I will not hit or kick or throw things; I will merely slide that shiny DVD into the player and live vicariously for a couple of hours.  I always feel better at the end; even now my lips curl with satisfaction.

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